


In One Overwhelming Rush

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: retrouvaille [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Break Up, Christmas, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Multi, Other, not hamlaf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: Lafayette, their name was, sitting across from Alex at what looked to be a café outside, looking up at him with one perfect eyebrow raised above a bill folder. The hand not taking the photo was holding a fork resting on the brink of an empty plate, a ring on his finger with a stone the size of Eliza's heart in her throat.What?"They mcfrickfuckig propose to me and then!! don't let me pay the bill!! smh I already want a divorce. I converted my money for Nothing," the caption read, a string of heart emojis attached, a few knife emojis for good measure. Eliza gawked at it."What?" She screamed, and a plate crashed downstairs. Fuck.* can be read as a one shot!!





	In One Overwhelming Rush

Eliza scrolled through her Instagram as snow fell outside, trying to entertain herself as the boredom of her own house overcame her. Don't get her wrong, she loved her family, but even they grew tiring occasionally. She threw them a goodnight and trudged off to her room, narrowly escaping family charades, and collapsed on her bed with a sigh, the jingle bell wreath on the front of her door rattling on the other side of the wall.   
  
Not a lot of people posted much since Christmas, giving Eliza a limited amount of content to search through, but she managed. Pictures of people getting ready for New Year's already, a picture of Eliza taken by Angelica of her  _ inhaling _ a glass of wine while her cousin talked about politics with a caption that just said ' _ mood _ '. She laughed to herself and kept scrolling, past various nail art videos and a glittery Christmas themed slime creation that only kind of worked until she saw it.    
  
A picture on Alex's Instagram, posted seconds ago, something she could never bring herself to unfollow, of someone Eliza had only seen in the tons of other pictures Alex had of them on his account.    
  
It was May a year and a half prior, Eliza fresh out of high school with a slew of opportunities for a future at her feet and a father to help her pay for them. She was lucky, could do anything she wanted if only she actually figured it out.    
  
She still hadn't figured out what to  _ do _ .   
  
The warmth and familiarity of the library closest to her house welcomed her, and she settled into one of the couches that she loved so much. This part of the library was empty, save for one boy in the corner typing faster than the speed of light with one hand and holding a coffee cup to his lips with the other. She would be more concerned if she didn't have her own problems, pulling her laptop from her bag and opening up the first of what seemed like  _ thousands  _ of bookmarks for references on how to have a future you won't want to quit two years into.    
  
Eliza was one hour into her research when the boy asked, "Excuse me, do you have a pen?"    
  
"Uh, I think so." She rummaged through the extra pocket of her laptop bag where she threw everything under the sun, producing a gel pen that was bright pink and glittery. She hadn't seen this pen since the eighth grade. What the fuck? "Here," she said to the boy, standing up and handing the pen to him.    
  
"Thanks," he muttered. He pulled glasses out from the sweatshirt pocket of his Columbia University sweatshirt and pushed them onto his nose. Now, there was an idea. An ivy league school, good education, better future.    
  
"Hey, do y-" she stopped as the boy rolled up one sleeve and started writing on his forearm with the pen she gave him. Maybe it was better if she didn't ask.    
  
Lafayette, their name was, sitting across from Alex at what looked to be a café outside, looking up at him with one perfect eyebrow raised above a bill folder. The hand not taking the photo was holding a fork resting on the brink of an empty plate, a ring on his finger with a stone the size of Eliza's heart in her throat.  _ What? _   
  
" _ They mcfrickfuckig propose to me and then!! don't let me pay the bill!! smh I already want a divorce. I converted my money for Nothing, _ " the caption read, a string of heart emojis attached, a few knife emojis for good measure. Eliza gawked at it.    
  
"What?" She screamed, and a plate crashed downstairs. Fuck.    
  
It'd been awhile since that first day at the library, and Eliza and Alex managed to form some sort of friendship. Eliza asked him about his life plans and college and started to consider seeking out a life of her own. They were friends, and Eliza liked talking to him. He understood what she felt, the genuine fucking confusion on what exactly to do with their lives, but he'd gotten past it. Alex had a plan since he he was young, and now that he had the chance to fulfill it, he was going to go for it.    
  
"That's so rude of you," Eliza muttered, tossing empty sweetener packets onto the table. Alex laughed, his cheeks puffing up. He wasn't wearing his glasses like he  _ should  _ be, but Eliza didn't comment.    
  
"I'm sorry! I've spent my whole life figuring this out, though, I deserve to have a clue!" He laughed, and Eliza felt her cheeks blush. Why?  _ Why _ ? Why did one boy manage to evoke  such a strong reaction from her?   
  
" _ Anyway _ ," she said, and Alex cleared his throat to listen. She rattled off ideas for what they were going to do next week after Eliza gets back from her mandatory family beach vacation that her parents insist she go on.    
  
"Why don't we go for dinner?" Alex suggested, and Eliza stared at him. They'd never been anywhere together past five o'clock besides the library. Surely he noticed that, right?   
  
"Like, early dinner or late dinner?" She asked, and Alex turned bright red.    
  
"Like, date dinner," he told her, rushing, and Eliza felt her own heart rocket off to the sun before she could stop it.    
  
"What?"   
  
"Do you want to go out with me?"    
  
She stared at him, spluttering. "Yeah, sure, I, uh, yeah. I'd like that." He smiled like the sun and Eliza was more excited than she ever had been in her life.    
  
That afternoon, Alex walked her up to her front door like they were in a romance comedy from the 80's, and he kissed her on her front doorstep. The butterflies churning in her stomach since she first met him were on hyper drive now, and she was unable to keep the smile off her face.    
  
Angelica burst into her room, half of a shattered Christmas plate in her hand. She was flushed from running up the stairs, ugly sweater probably making living akin to being burned at the stake.    
  
"What? What's wrong?" She yelled, and Eliza jumped.    
  
"Remember Alex?"    
  
Angelica stared at her, turning the shard of plate so she was holding it like a dagger. "Vaguely."    
  
"He's engaged," she explained, turning the phone so she could see. Angelica stepped closer, squinting at the screen, eyes widening at each feature she took in. The ring, the tag at the top that said  _ Paris, France _ , the caption.    
  
"Oh my god. I didn't even know they were that serious."   
  
"Neither did I! I mean, I guess I should've, it's been over a year but it didn't-"   
  
"Seem real, yeah. Holy shit." She sighed, sitting down on the corner of her mattress. "Wow."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"You okay?"    
  
Eliza nodded. "Yeah, it just seems weird, I guess. I mean, I was kind of in love with him when we broke up, and now our lives are completely separate and I barely even know him."   
  
With Alex starting college and Eliza deciding to take a another year to think things over, she worried a gap too wide to cross would form between them. Alex was one month in and he already formed a group of friends, and she was happy for him, but the more time he spent with them, the less time she got to spend with him. He was allowed to have friends, of course, but seeing him at all would be nice.    
  
"Hey, hey! I'm sorry I haven't been here much this week, I've been settling in, trying to get comfortable. I have a roommate! They're name is Lafayette, and they're kind of distant, but I think I can get them to crack if I tried," Alex rushed out, and Eliza stared at him. This was the first time they'd been out together in a month, and he showed up like this. His shirt untucked, the first three buttons open, belt half unbuckled. His hair was mussed, a bruise forming on his collarbone in the shape of someone's mouth.    
  
Eliza stared at him. "Who, who did that to you?" She questioned, not bothering to entertain this date if he was going to show up looking like that and then pretend nothing was going on. He didn't get that chance.   
  
"Who did what to me?" He adjusted his collar, then felt down his bare chest and scrambled to button his shirt.    
  
"The hickey on your neck? The general aura that  _ screams  _ 'you just got fucked'?" Alex's face dropped. He slapped his hand over his neck and turned bright red.   
  
"I can explain."    
  
"I don't want you to. I don't want to be on this date, either, if you planned to lie to me about whatever happened with you and whoever gave you that."   
  
"It was that guy, John, that I told you about. The one I met when I went to the wrong dorm hall and thought his room was my room? He kissed me earlier, and I guess I went with it. I was going to tell you, I swear, Eliza."   
  
Eliza wiped tears from her eyes. She loved him,  _ fuck  _ she loved him, and this hurt almost as much as how pitiful she felt at falling in love with him in three months.    
  
"Please, don't. Just, go. I don't want to deal with this, or you, please just go."    
  
"Okay, alright. I'm sorry, Eliza."    
  
"Did you ever tell them you were dating me? Ever? Did I ever even cross your mind?"    
  
Alex stopped as he turned away from her. He didn't say a word before he continued walking, and Eliza knew his answer even in his silence.    
  
"He cheated on you, Eliza," Angelica whispered, like she forgot.   
  
"Still, I think he's different now." Angelica quirked her eyebrow. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Once a cheating asshole, always a cheating asshole, but if Alex never changed from when he was dating me, he would've never said yes to a marriage proposal. I've watched their relationship through posts like this, and he seems mostly human now. I think I want to try and, like, make amends, or something." She stared at her lap and refused to make eye contact.    
  
"I'm getting Peggy."    
  
"You don't have t-"   
  
Angelica didn't listen, ran out of the room and down the stairs, returning with Peggy not two minutes later. How they managed to pull her from their entire family at one in the morning, at peak family game time, when they real fights started to break out. It was Peggy's favorite part.   
  
"Let me explain first!" Eliza said, holding her hands up.   
  
"Angelica told me the whole story on the stairs," she panted. "You want to do  _ what  _ now?"   
  
Eliza sighed. "I want to make up with Alex. I don't want to spend my whole life holding this grudge against him. It's not healthy."    
  
Peggy thought about it for a minute, nodded. "Okay, I get that." She crawled into bed next to her. "But are you sure?"   
  
"I know you follow him on Instagram still, I know you see what he posts. Does he  _ act _ , in any way, like he did for the first few months after we broke up?"   
  
"No, he seems like a person now, and while I don't support this," she paused. "I guess I'll go with it." She leaned in closer. "Also, if you can, ask what the fuck that chocolate stuff is that he posts about all the time, and ask if he can  _ get me _ any."    
  
She laughed. "Will do."   
  
Angelica sighed. "Fine, so you're going to meet up with Alex," Angelica muttered, joining them. "I want to know every detail when you get back."   
  
"I don't even know when I'd do it. He's in France right now, apparently, so it'll be at least a couple of days."    
  
"Make plans now, though, because Dad is about to get into an argument with Aunt Gertrude, and if you make me miss that I'll never forgive you." Eliza nodded, grabbing her phone and typing out something she didn't look at twice before sending.   
  
Alex pulled his phone out of his pocket as went off, the text tone that sounded like glitter ringing at embarrassingly high volumes in the relatively quiet doorway of the jewelry store they just walked out of.   
  
"I hate myself," he spit as he turned his ringer off. Lafayette scoffed.   
  
"So cute."    
  
**_eliza_ ** _ : hey alex it's me eliza!! idk if you still have my number saved but!! I was wondering if we could talk when you get home?? you totally don't have to!! I get it, but I just thought I'd try!!  _   
  
"Holy shit," Alex whispered, and Lafayette put on their worried look immediately. If they could be any cuter, he would combust.   
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"Remember that girl I told you about, Eliza? The girI I dated for a while and then we broke up because of the thing with me and John and I cheated on her?"   
  
Ale's heart pounded in his chest as he watched Lafayette's face, searching for any sign of disgust or anger or even fear. He didn't like bringing up what he did to Eliza, didn't like thinking that he was ever that person, but he had to, had to accept his mistakes and move on, had to trust that Lafayette would forgive him too. Lafayette didn't say anything, just nodded at him.   
  
"I remember," they said, taking his hand and leading Alex across the street as he kept staring at the message on his screen.   
  
"She just texted me," he told them, and their eyebrows shot up, peering at his phone screen over Alex's shoulder once they were on a sidewalk corner.    
  
"Aw, that's cute. Are you gonna talk to her?"    
  
Alex shrugged. "I don't know. Things ended really badly, I  _ cheated  _ on her, Lafayette. I don't know why she wants to talk to me now, right after we get engaged." He still couldn't say it without smiling, and Alex found himself pushing the corners of his lips back down as they curled upward against his will.    
  
"We need to get home so I can kiss you to death." They started walking faster, weaving through people, dragging Alex behind them.   
  
"Please," Alex breathed, and then Lafayette took off running.   
  
"Maybe that's why she wants to talk to you." They dodged three women coming out of a restaurant with three delightfully fluffy dogs, only pausing for a moment to look at them before continuing down the road. Wow, Lafayette considered kissing Alex to be better than petting dogs. He was honored, and so,  _ so  _ in love with them.   
  
"What?" Alex asked, panting as they walked up the shallow stone front steps to the apartment building.   
  
"Well, you cheated on her. You didn't want to commit to her and so you did something wrong and now that you changed she wants to see how  _ much  _ of a difference there is."    
  
"Oh, true. Okay, yeah, I'll text her back. I don't think I'm that bad now."    
  
Lafayette turned, halfway through unlocking the door, and kissed him. "I think you're wonderful."    
  
"Yeah, of course you have to say that," Alex grumbled. "You have to spend the rest of your life with me."   
  
"Have to or get to, my love?" They swung open the door and grabbed Alex's hand again, rushing up the stairs.    
  
**_IGNORE_ ** :  _ yeah sure!! I get home on the 4th and I'll probably spend all of the next day trying to kill my jet lag so!! the 6th?? if that doesn't work for you though that's okay!! we can reschedule!! _   
  
"I cannot fucking believe you named him that in my phone," Eliza commented, shaking her head as she went to go change it.   
  
"He  _ cheated  _ on you!" both of her sisters argued, and she shrugged. As much as they exasperated her, she loved them no matter what.   
  
**_eliza_ ** _ : !! no the sixth is fine!! I'll see you then!! at the old brunch place we used to go to?? around 11?? _ _  
_ _  
_ **_softblock_ ** _ : sure!! see you there!!  _   
  
"We're going to brunch now," Alex told them, and Lafayette hummed as they opened the front door, smiling.    
  
"I want pictures. I don't think my grandmother is home, also."   
  
"Aw, I was hoping to get that scrabble game in."   
  
"If I didn't love you as much as I did, I swear."   
_  
_ **_eliza_ ** _ : see you!! _ _  
_ _  
_ "We're getting brunch next Saturday," Eliza told them, holding her face in her hands. "Is this as stupid as it feels? He types with double exclamation points now, which is such a nice contrast from the full stops he used to do. He has emotions now, Angelica,  _ emotions _ ."    
  
"If he didn't have emotions before, then why did you date him?" Peggy asked. Eliza glared over her shoulder at her.    
  
"He knew what he was doing with his life, seemed kind of put together, used peach flavored lip balm and was very skilled with the lips he put it on."    
  
She nodded. "Right. Gross."    
  
Eliza elbowed her. _  
_   
Alex watched as Lafayette went right to the kitchen and got a glass of water, saying nothing as they did. Alex stared, heart so full of love for Lafayette and wanting nothing more than to lay in bed with them for the rest of their life, holding them as close as he could get and still wanting to be closer.    
  
He walked up to Lafayette, stopping them in their tracks and holding their jaw in his hands. Lafayette didn't react besides setting the glass of water down on the counter and holding Alex's waist. They smiled and kissed him, making him feel like someone was stirring honey in his chest.   
  
"I love you," Alex said.    
  
"I love you too." They pressed a quick kiss to his forehead.    
  
"Can we talk about it, the Eliza thing?"   
  
Lafayette nodded, concerned again. "Sure? Are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just want you to know that I'm not the same person I was when I dated Eliza. What I did to her was terrible, I betrayed her trust in me and I fucked up everything and there is  _ no  _ excuse for it-"   
  
"Alex."

"-but I tried to move on and be better, and I love you and I want you to trust me and am I fucking this up? I think I'm fucking this up."   
  
"You're not."   
  
"You know I would never cheat on you, right?" He blurted out. "That I love you more than anything else in the world and that I'm not the gross person I was a year and a half ago,  _ right _ ?"    
  
Lafayette smiled, and kissed him. Alex was on the brink of tears. "I know you wouldn't, and I know that you're not the same person from a year and a half ago."    
  
"You, you couldn-"   
  
" _ Yes _ , I can, and the  _ reason  _ I can know is because I've spent each and every one of those days since then watching you become a better person, and I trust you with my whole heart."    
  
Alex sniffed. "Can we go upstairs?"   
  
"Of course, love."    
  
Alex didn't deserve Lafayette. They were kind and sweet and too fucking good to settle for him, but for some reason they stayed with him, loved him, brought him to Paris with them and then  _ proposed _ . Alex smiled as the ring swung against his chest while they walked up the stairs, bounding ahead of them to get to their bedroom first.    
  
"Hey!" Lafayette called, running behind Alex as he burst in their bedroom, Lafayette falling on top of him on the bed. He yelped and Lafayette laughed into Alex's neck, making Alex laugh because of how it tickled. Alex pushed tried to push them off of him but Lafayette wouldn't budge.    
  
"I'm suffocating!" He choked, still laughing. Lafayette kissed his neck over and over.    
  
"One more minute."    
  
Alex pulled them away from his neck and kissed them. "I love you so much."   
  
"I love you too." They smiled, and Alex almost exploded. He knew how beautiful Lafayette was, impossible to forget with how much Alex looked at them, but sometimes when they smiled, Alex felt his heart constrict, and every thought he'd ever had about how stunning Lafayette was came back in one overwhelming rush. He was going to marry them. He was the luckiest person alive.   
  
"So, is that what we're doing on this trip? Staying inside and sleeping?" Lafayette questioned.   
  
"Would you mind it?"   
  
"No, I would stay inside and sleep both with and next to you for the rest of my life, but I thought you wanted to see the city, and we're running out of days, dear."   
  
"Okay, true, but we can do something else later. Right now I just want to be with you."   
  
Lafayette whined and leaned into his shoulder. "Can't we get married tomorrow? I love you so much."   
  
"I love you too," Alex laughed, "but I want a huge ass reception, half paid for by me, with like, glitter and ABBA songs, and you there to dance with me the whole time."   
  
"We could have that right now," Lafayette pointed out, pulling the collar of his sweater over so they could kiss his bare shoulder. Alex made a noise and leaned into it.    
  
"Not with our friends."   
  
"Do we even have friends?" Alex questioned. Lafayette nudged Alex further up the bed so they could move to hover over his stomach, pushing his sweater up and kissing over his stomach. Alex loved how much they enjoyed kissing him, like each second they spent not doing it was a second wasted.    
  
"John and Hercules," they answered, "and if things go well with Eliza, then we'll have more."    
  
Alex looked down at them, now kissing along his sides. "Do you still have that thing about not making friends because of restrictions?"    
  
"What do you think?" Lafayette went back and kissed him, tugging lightly on the ring around his neck.    
  
"Still," he kissed them again, "falling in love with me was out of your control. You literally  _ had  _ to spend time with me, we were roommates."   
  
"Oh my god, we were roommates."   
  
"Shut up!" Alex giggled, and Lafayette's forehead fell on his chest. Asshole. "It's a serious question!"    
  
"No, I don't have that restriction anymore. To be fair, I never really had one in the first place, I fell in love with you one month after I first met you, my resolve wasn't exactly steel, my love."   
  
"I'm glad it wasn't."   
  
Lafayette kissed him, turning them so they were lying the right way on their bed, flopping down next to him on the bed. Alex intertwined their fingers, and Lafayette grinned.    
  
"I am too."   


**Author's Note:**

> this was getting long so !! it's two parts and this is bad who knows what the second part will be like ((worse))


End file.
